Don't ask a dev to...
Like really, please don't.
Ever wanted your own tool, website, or script to do things automatically?
Got a friend, coworker, or cousin who knows how to code or fix your electronics?
This is why we sigh when you ask us to create [idea] for you...
... developers sighed today...
... annoying messages ignored today...
... meetings that could have been an email...
... broken printers fixed today...
Questions that make developers die inside
Each one of these takes five minutes off a dev’s life.
Hey, you know things about computers, can you fix my printer?
It's not because I work in IT, I can fix your printer... But yes I can fix it...
I have a big business idea, can you make me a website for free?- Let me just cancel all my paid work, so I can chase your crypto-powered drop-shipping dream.
Can you make it work in Internet Explorer?- Yeah, and while I’m at it, I’ll resurrect Flash and fix your floppy disk too...
Why is it taking so long?- Because you are paying too much, duh
Can you look at my code?- Sure, I'll look in the magic code scrolls and summon the ancient docs.
It's easy!- If it's that easy, why don't you do it yourself...
So you tried it yourself, Good!
But unfortunately, it broke... And now you need our help.
Awesome that you tried to do it by yourself, hopefully you learned a thing or 2.
Sadly, when you ask our help, you don't provide us with the right details.
Fixing items
- Why is this broken?
- Hey, I tried [thing], expected [result], got [error]. Any idea what is wrong?
- Specifics save time, we can't smell the problem.
Not telling the truth
- It worked yesterday.
- Here is what I did, step-by-step. It worked but now it [does this]
- "Yesterday" isn't a bug report, Replicating steps are.
Demanding
- Is it possible to create [new functionality]?
- How many resources would you need for [functionality]?
- "Possible" isn't the question. "Realistic timeline and resources" is.
Assuming something is easy
- Creating [new functionality] should be easy right.
- I would like [new functionality], Can we chat about it if you have time?
- Assuming “easy” wastes time and causes frustration.